05 August 2011

List #21: Lies My Mom Told Me

Every parent tells the little lies.  But these are the lies my mom told just because she could. 

1.  Anyone remember "The People's Court" when it was still with Judge Wapner?  We used to watch that every day.  And when they would go to commercial in the middle of a longer case, they would freeze the frame.  When I was a kid, I obviously didn't understand a "freeze-frame," so I asked Mom how they did that.  She told me they had an artist who drew the people they way they were and when they came back from commercial, they had the people get back in position they way the guy had drawn them.

2.  When Price Chopper (our grocery store) started using a scanner at the check-out, I was FASCINATED and didn't understand how it worked.  Mom told me that the Price Chopper man (the mascot for the store was a guy in a butcher apron with a tiny axe who would chop the prices) was inside the scanner and he worked in the machine all day.  Sometimes she would even pick me up, and then she'd tell me I hadn't looked fast enough.  Occasionally, I'd go to the cashier for confirmation.  "Is that true?"  One cashier hedged one day and I got suspicious.

3.  When I fell asleep in the car and Mom wanted to wake me up before we got home (so she didn't have to deal with carrying me in or waste the extra minutes waking me up when we got home), she'd yell, "OH MY GOD!  There's an elephant!"  I have no idea why, but this worked for years.  This cracks my mom up to this day.  "But you fell for it EVERY TIME!"  (In my defence, I didn't want to miss the elephant standing by I-70!  Would you????)

I'm sure there are others, but these are the ones that have apparently scarred me for life.


  1. Oh wow, your mom cracks me up!
    I am sharing the elephant thing with a young mother of my acquaintance. She may need it someday!

  2. Hi! New to your blog. Found you on Blogher, read this post, and had to comment. Your mom sounds like my dad. The one I remember best from him was when we were driving in the car, I asked what would happen if I pulled up the emergency brake (not knowing that's what it was). He told me the car would explode. It took me until my late teens to realize that was *not* going to happen. Gotta love parents with a funny bone.

  3. Hi Diana! Welcome to my blog; I hope you enjoy it! Aren't parents funny? I told my mom last night that I'd blogged about her, and she replied, "But the elephant WAS there. You just never woke up in time to see him!"