Parking Wars

Tonight, A&E had a "Parking Wars" marathon.  If you haven't seen this show, the first few seasons were set in Philadelphia, then they expanded and started filming in Detroit.  Basically, they follow PPA PEOs (Philadelphia Parking Authority Parking Enforcement Officers) and their Detroit equivalents around and watch them do battle with the citizenry as they give out tickets, boot cars, and tow cars.  In Philly, some of the more "colourful" scenes take place at the impound lot in South Philly, which is located behind IKEA.

Part of me would like to have this job just so I could zap people who do illegal things.  Illegally park in a handicapped space?  Zap - $100 fine for you!  Block the handicap ramp on a sidewalk?  Zap!  Park next to a fire hydrant?  Zap!  Park too close to a corner and make it difficult for people to see if there's oncoming traffic at an intersection?  Zap!  Park in a bus zone so people can't safely board and exit the bus?  Zap!

But watching this show makes me happy that those people do the job so I don't have to.  Man.  They're just walking down the street on their beat, not even writing a ticket and people will heckle them!  "Get a real job!" as if they have some deadbeat, loser job.  One person asked a PEO, "Do you even have a high school diploma?" 

And I'd never realised how dangerous their job is, either.  The people who boot the cars - Christ!  People come out and flat go postal on them!  They're booting the cars, and people come out and try to drive off!  One guy drove off the the boot half on his wheel, dragging on the street.  It was returned the next day (a random guy found it in a park), and it had brake fluid all over it.  They think it probably broke his brake line.  But it could have just as easily broke off and hit them.  Several other people flat out tried pushed and shoved the people.

Some of the people are just hilarious, though.  For instance, the guy who claimed he couldn't be towed because he's sovereign (he lives in Detroit).  Or the woman in Philadelphia who called 911 because the PEO gave a guy a ticket for double parking and she hates the PEO.  "He gives everyone tickets!  I hate him!  He gave the Pepsi guy a ticket!  And the beer distributor!  I had to deliver a 90-year-old man for five minutes across the street!"  (That last sentence in itself gives me a visual that I don't really need.)  I mean, that's stuff you can't make up.

I can't imagine going to work every day knowing people are going to yell at me, to my face, for things THEY did wrong.