13 May 2011

List #9: Things I Wanted to be When I Grew Up

(This is in no particular order.)

1.  A little black boy tap dancing on Bourbon Street
We spent a LOT of time in New Orleans when I was growing up.  And I was too young to understand the several things wrong with this statement.  I just knew that there were little black boys having fun tap dancing on the corners of Bourbon Street, they were having all kinds of fun, AND they were making cash.  FUN!

2.  A tri-professionalist: a teacher, a farmerette, and a Burger King drive-thru cashier
When I was looking through one of my childhood diaries many years ago, I found an entry that said exactly this.  I remember writing it.  For a long time, I wanted to be a teacher - I think this is mostly because I got to boss people around (also, I remember telling my mom that I'd get to wear heels and I'd get to clack down the hallways).  A farmerette sounded cool because I'd get to be around animals and save them from being killed.  I decided that a farmer was dumb when I could be a farmerETTE (apparently, Smurfette had a bigger impact on me than I realised).  And, finally, I had to be a Burger King Drive-Thru cashier because they were the epitome of cool.  They were the first people that I had seen that got to wear the headphones when taking orders.  That was really super awesome.  I just HAD to have THAT job!  (Give me a break.  I think I was about ten when I wrote this.)

3.  A marine biologist
I thought it meant I'd get to swim with dolphins.

4.  An English literature teacher
I thought it meant I'd get to read all day.

5.  A librarian
I thought it meant I'd get to read all day.

6.  A playwright
Then I found out I'm much better at writing narrative than dialogue.  I absolutely suck at dialogue unless it's a transcript of one of my mom's phone calls.

7.  An astronaut
But there's a height requirement.

8.  An attorney
Most of you know this story.  I won't go into it again here.

9.  A public health practitioner.
This one is ongoing, and shall be continued.  Stay tuned.


  1. I didn't know there was a height requirement for astronauts. #1 mad me think of Steve Martin in the Jerk.

  2. I wanted to be a baker, because I loved baked goods. Now, however, the idea of waking up at ridiculous o'clock to do that is... yeah, not happening.