26 March 2011

You Know You're From Missouri When

Something today on a forum I participated in made me think of this, so I thought I'd post it.

1. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip,"

2. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.

3. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example, "Well, Webb City's only 20 minutes away."

4. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend"only means one thing.

5. You know several people who have hit a deer.

6. You know what "Party Cove" is.

7. Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.

8. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

9. You instinctively ask some one you've just met, "What high school did you go to?"

10. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

11. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

12. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

13. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

14. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of day.

15. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

16. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or grain.

18. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked.

19. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

20. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

21. You went to skating parties as a kid.

22. You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

23. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

24. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.

25. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

26. You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday.

27. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and the Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.

28. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

29. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

30. You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

31. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.

32. You know if another Missourian is from the Boot-heel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.

33. You know that Harry S Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.

34. You failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are! AND you know the correct way to pronounce "Versailles" and "Nevada.")

35. You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL" means.

1 comment:

  1. I thought you had to be from NJ to measure distance in time!!

    And I've never even been to Missouri and I've done -
    3,5,8,12,20,21,28 and 30.