28 January 2011

My mom, the comedian

Last night, Mom tole me I'd wake up this morning feeling perfect. When I woke up this morning still feeling half-dead, I called her first thing.

Me: I'm still sick.
Mom: No, you're not.
Me: I'm not?
Mom: Nope. Mind over matter.
Me: Why didn't you tell me that a week ago?
Mom: I thought you'd figure it out.
Me: Why don't come here and take care of me?
Mom: I told you last night - I'm getting my hair cut today.

I called her later that day.

Me: Tell me a funny story.
Mom: Why?
Me: Because that's what moms do when their daughters are sick. They tell them funny stories to keep them entertained.
Mom: But I don't know any funny stories.
Me: Make one up.
Mom: Um... Okay. Joey Logano (her favourite active NASCAR driver) was a cute, handsome -
Me: Okay, Mom. That's definitely made up, but it's not FUNNY.
Mom: Oh, okay. Weeeell. How about this: Tony Stewart will win the Daytona 500 this year.

Sorry, Ria, but it DID make me laugh.

After tonight's X Games ended, I called Mom to do the post-games wrap-up. We talked for a bit, and I ended with "Did you think of a funny story for me yet?" She said she hadn't. I scolded her, telling her she had ALL DAY to think of one. Then I made her listen to me cough for about ten minutes in hopes of making her feel guilty for not coming over to take care of me (it didn't work).

I told her to tell me a story about Grandpa (her dad; he died when I was four). She said he wasn't funny. I said there had to be at least one funny story about him, and then she started laughing. She said one when they were water-skiing, he decided to let go of the rope, and he was going to come up on the dock. But he missed and hit the middle of the diving board instead.


  1. Oh. I have to remember to print something out to give you for your mom. It's an article on the HD intranet about Joey giving a hockey sled to a handicap kid @ his family's ice center.

  2. I like your mom. I am really glad sometimes that she is your mom, though :-}
    We have the creeping crud around here today.
    It's a nasty bugger. Knock Oscar right on his tuchas. I have a (so far) milder version, thank goodness.
    ANd Tony just might win Daytona :-p