My mom, the comedian

Last night, Mom tole me I'd wake up this morning feeling perfect. When I woke up this morning still feeling half-dead, I called her first thing.

Me: I'm still sick.
Mom: No, you're not.
Me: I'm not?
Mom: Nope. Mind over matter.
Me: Why didn't you tell me that a week ago?
Mom: I thought you'd figure it out.
Me: Why don't come here and take care of me?
Mom: I told you last night - I'm getting my hair cut today.

I called her later that day.

Me: Tell me a funny story.
Mom: Why?
Me: Because that's what moms do when their daughters are sick. They tell them funny stories to keep them entertained.
Mom: But I don't know any funny stories.
Me: Make one up.
Mom: Um... Okay. Joey Logano (her favourite active NASCAR driver) was a cute, handsome -
Me: Okay, Mom. That's definitely made up, but it's not FUNNY.
Mom: Oh, okay. Weeeell. How about this: Tony Stewart will win the Daytona 500 this year.

Sorry, Ria, but it DID make me laugh.

After tonight's X Games ended, I called Mom to do the post-games wrap-up. We talked for a bit, and I ended with "Did you think of a funny story for me yet?" She said she hadn't. I scolded her, telling her she had ALL DAY to think of one. Then I made her listen to me cough for about ten minutes in hopes of making her feel guilty for not coming over to take care of me (it didn't work).

I told her to tell me a story about Grandpa (her dad; he died when I was four). She said he wasn't funny. I said there had to be at least one funny story about him, and then she started laughing. She said one when they were water-skiing, he decided to let go of the rope, and he was going to come up on the dock. But he missed and hit the middle of the diving board instead.