List #4: Things That Worry Me (Probably Needlessly)

1.  People will think I never wash my hands because my bathroom soap dispenser is always full.  But really I just have a huge-ass soap refill bottle under the sink, and I like refilling the soap dispenser.  It makes me happy.

2.  People will think I only three towels (my regular towel, my bathroom hand towel, and the towel I use for my hair).  I have a bunch of towels under my bathroom sink and in the closet, but I find it easier to wash/dry my linens and then just put those same towels back.

3.  My neighbours think I have sex with a wide variety of men because I have my windows open during the spring/summer/fall, and I generally am yelling for various drivers to win races, which consists of "GO KYLE/CARL/DAVID/CHAD/JAMES/TODD" or "FASTER! FASTER! GO! FASTER! C'MON! GO FASTER!" and the occasional "OH MY GOD!" and the rare "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

4.  I think the walls here are pretty solid, but if not, I worry my building-mates may think:

• I beat my cat.  I say "Sorry, Felix" a LOT.  If you've ever met him, you know he gets startled quite easily.  So I've gotten in the habit of saying "Sorry, Felix" when something loud happens or when I drop something or when I do something startling... like reposition myself on the couch.
• I burn a lot of food.  My kitchen timer is quite loud and it sounds a LOT like the smoke detector did in my old building.  I hope they don't think I burning things on a daily basis.  Sometimes several times a day.

5.  For people who have been in my bedroom, you may have noticed a big-ass hand-held vibrator-type thing on my nightstand.  I worry that people think I leave my sex toys lying about.  But I actually use it because I awful cramps in my calves.  They're actually so bad that I take prescription quinine sulfate (which is an anti-malarial that insurance doesn't pay for since the U.S. has officially eradicated malaria, but that's another rant).