Phone Call with My Mom

I did not have a good sports weekend.

I'm still bitter about Mizzou being moved to the SEC.  One of my NASCAR drivers is in the hunt for the championship, but he's only in the lead by three points.  Another of my drivers is in hot water with his sponsor, NASCAR, and most of the fans, and by their reaction, you'd think he'd ran over all of their grandmothers and boiled their puppies (he didn't, by the way -- just to clarify).  And yet another of my drivers (in a different series) ACCIDENTALLY wrecked a championship contender and pretty much ruined that guy's chances at winning the championship (oops).

As soon as that happened, the phone rang.  (Hi Mom.)

Me: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
Mom: He's a loser who can't drive!
Me: You don't even know!

(We were still on the phone about five minutes later when they started interviewing two of the guys involved in the wreck.)

Me: Hey!  Why aren't they interviewing Jason?  He's standing right there!
Mom: BECAUSE HE'S A LOSER!
Me: They're being biased against him!  They aren't getting his side of the story!  No fair!
Mom: Ha ha - they don't like him, either!
Me: Shhh, now they're talking to him.

(Jason admitted he made a grave error and felt awful.)

Me: SEE???  He's man enough to admit a mistake, take ownership, and be remorseful.  What more do you want?
Mom: BLOOD!  I WANT BLOOD!
Me: You frighten me.
Mom: You asked.
Me: Don't talk to me right now.  I'm mad at you.
Mom: Why?  Because you like losers?
Me: Shhh.  Don't talk to me!
Mom: I can't talk?
Me: That's right.  I'm mad at you.  You have to be quiet.
Mom: Then can I hang up?
Me: No.
Mom (laughing): Oh, I have to sit here and be miserable?
Me: Yes, that's right.  That's your punishment.
Mom: Hmph.  Well, can I --
Me: SSSHHHHHH.  I'M BEING MAD AT YOU!

Felix comes over and meows into the phone.

Me: See?  Even Felix knows!  He's telling you how wrong you are!
Mom: No, he's talking to me because he feels bad for me.
Me: Traitor.

When Mom and Felix Gang up on Me

Last night, I received the following email from my mother:

"Hi How is my wonderful, beautiful, great daughter tonight?  I am really writing to see if you are taking Felix to see Puss in Boots tomorrow.  If you don't, I am going to tell him.

 

"Love, Mom"

 

As luck would have it, Felix was actually sitting on my lap when the email came and I opened it.  Hmph.  I asked him if he had interest in the movie, and he actually seemed to.  Double hmph.  So I then explained that we would probably have to rent it because I didn't think he would be allowed in the theater.  I called Mom to tell her that she was causing problems because Fe saw the email, and she was delighted.  "Good!  Now I don't even have to tell him!"

Today, I am cooking a whole chicken in the Crock Pot (hang on - this relates to the story).  When I cook a whole chicken, I boil the liver and gizzard, and let the cat eat them.  Oscar used to LOVE liver so much that I'd buy it for him at the grocery store, but Fe only likes it enough that he gets it when I have it on hand already.  I happened to be talking to my mom on the phone as I was boiling the innards, and Fe was mewing impatiently.  I told her that I had already told Felix that since he was getting special treats today, we weren't going to the movies -- he could only get so much fun in one day.  She informed me I wasn't being fair.

Felix kept mewing impatiently, so much so that Mom finally asked me what I was doing to the poor guy.  I said, "He just REALLY wants his liver and gizzard.  He doesn't understand the cooking process."  To which she replied, "Oh.  I thought I heard him say that he's mad you aren't taking him to see Puss in Boots today."

She's incorrigible.

General Update

Last night, I had a wicked nightmare.  My therapist and I discussed things today, and we decided to try Ativan for awhile.

I've been working on knitting more.  The project I'm working on now is on a deadline, which helps.

My acid reflux is worse than usual.  I've gone through half a bottle of Mylanta in the past few days.

I have a headache that won't quit.

I'm loving the fall television season.  There are several new shows I like, but (as per usual) two of them are already getting low ratings and EW is predicting they won't be on the air much longer.

Felix has taken to trying to sleep on my head at night.  No, not on my pillow or by my head, but actually ON. MY. HEAD.  There have been a few nights I've nearly locked him out of the bedroom.  Fighting with a cat so I can sleep probably isn't conducive to that whole "general malaise and fatigue" thing I've got going on.

Work - it's work.  I'd probably be enjoying it more if it wasn't for everything else going on in my life.

Preparing for Irene

On Thursday, after watching The Weather Channel for several hours and then watching a presser that our mayor had, I decided to head out to Trader Joe's for some basic supplies.  I wanted some non-perishables just in case power went out for several days, and since I have a gas range, I wanted some things I could feasibly open and cook without needing to do anything else.

Yesterday, my friend Sue called and asked if I needed a ride to the store for stuff, which I thought was extremely kind and considerate.  Since my trip to TJ's had been via trolley, I was happy to take her up on her offer.  On the trolley, I can only carry so much -- both in volume and weight.  But going via car, I could get as much as my wallet will allow.

So we set off.  The difference in number of people and stock was day and night!  There was no water left (except sparkling), fresh produce was going like hotcakes (which was not going at all), and the check-out lines were backed up to the end of the store.  It was nearly impossible to shop because of the people standing in line.

One woman got exasperated at Sue when Sue left her cart in the middle of the aisle to get some cream cheese, but I'm not sure where she expected Sue to put the basket since the sides of the aisle were already taken up by people standing in line.  I pointed this out (in my "are you a complete dumbass?" voice) to her, but she just rolled her eyes at me.

Now, if this were a NORMAL day, I would agree with her -- there's no reason to leave a cart in the middle of an aisle.  But, really - let's think about this.  If Sue had rolled her basket to the end of the aisle, and gone back to get the cream cheese, I'm convinced that not everything she had left in the basket would have still been there when she got back to it (again, on a normal day - sure, everything would have been safe.  But yesterday, everything was a valuable commodity.).

Eventually, we got home in one piece.  I spent the rest of the day rinsing out and filling my numerous water bottles, filling my bathtub so I would be able to flush my toilet, charging my phone and laptop, and making sure my tornado bag was ready (I guess now it's a "hurricane bag," but growing up in Tornado Alley, I always call it a "tornado bag".)

Earlier today, I rearranged a few things in my basement and brought Felix's cat carrier upstairs just in case I need to corral him in a safe space.

The difference between tornado prep and hurricane prep actually isn't THAT much (this is my third hurricane, by the way).  I think it's just psychologically more taxing because you hear about the hurricane SOOOOO much more as it approaches.  With a tornado, it comes, it's over, and you move on.

My Earthquake Experiences

As many of you know, the East Coast experienced an earthquake yesterday (or, as one reporter stated yesterday, we "saw" an earthquake, which still boggles my mind).

This was actually my second earthquake.  When I was about 12, I was in an earthquake in San Francisco when I was visiting Orin.  He was at work, and I was playing a computer game called Zak McCracken.  l loved that game, but it did have a problem.  Every once in awhile, Zak would get stuck and he'd just be walking into a wall over and over.  And you'd just have to restart the computer.  Back in those days, you'd do this by pushing the big, red "RESET" button on the CPU.  So I did that.

Just as I did that, the building started shaking, I heard a rumbling, car alarms outside started going off, and I thought, "Holy crap!  I just wanted to start Zak over!"  A few seconds later, the phone rang.  It was Orin.  "You okay, kid?"

Wait - what?  He's all the way at work and he ALREADY KNOWS what I did??????

"Yeah..?  I'm okay." 
"Congratulations.  You've lived through your first earthquake."
"Heh.  Ohhhhhhh."

And then I told him I thought I had caused it all.

Yesterday, Ria was getting ready to leave.  We were sitting on the couch when the rumbling noise started and the building began to shake.  The noise and the shaking steadily got louder/noticeably more... uh, shaky, and I looked at Ria and said, "Are we having an EARTHQUAKE?"

There are some construction workers on my block, working on the top dome of the church.  I heard one of them shout, just as the dog next door began barking like crazy, and Felix scampered off of his window ledge and started doing that half-crawling/half-walking thing cats do when they're frightened.  Poor guy.  (Although he recovered quite quickly when I crunched his treat bag.)

I heard that the 'quake was felt from NC to Canada and as far west as western Ohio.  Any good stories?

Felix's New Toy

I went to the pet store the other day because Felix needed new cat litter. While I was there, I decided to buy a new water bowl. Now, those of you who have met Felix know that he has some issues with skittishness. Others of you have heard about his legendary skittishness. So now you can imagine the trauma I put my cat through when I made him get used to a new water bowl.

It took him two days before he'd approach it without any sense of trepidation whatsoever. The first day, he wouldn't even go near it. The water bowl was clearly Not To Be Trusted.

Gratuitous picture of Felix being cute.

I had a feeling that things would not go well with the water bowl (I know my boy), so I bought him a bag of treats. Staring at the wall o' treats at the store, I immediately eliminated a few. I know Fe tends to like fish-flavoured things. I finally settled on a treat advertised for older cats; it purported to be for "hip health" and it's salmon flavoured.

I came home and gave him one. When he nearly bit my finger off, I gave him another. Cat went nuts. I mean NUTS. When I put the bag on the coffee table, the cat who usually doesn't get on the coffee table (even though he's allowed on it) knocked everything off of it trying to open the bag. He finally flung the bag off the table and chased it around the room, until he knocked it under the couch. Then he cried. And cried. And cried.

I showed him where the package reads, "12-17 pounds - 2 treats daily." And I explained to Felix that since he weighs 13 pounds, he shouldn't have more. But he didn't care. So I gave him two more. And I told him he had had that day's and the next day's allotment -- no more until Thursday.

A couple of hours later, I crinkled a plastic bag, and he nearly gave himself whiplash looking for his new treats. A little bit after that, he decided to try to get into the bag again. Soon, the bag was on the floor again.

Felix recommends Zukes!

I'm telling you, the cat has gone nuts.

In the meantime, though, my four dollars were well spent.

What to do with Wednesdays?

As I said yesterday, now that I'm Wednesday Weigh-In is on hiatus, I'm taking ideas.

Julie suggested having Felix Wednesdays, and when I asked her if she meant spotlighting Fe or letting him take over for one day a week, she said she had in mind the former (which I think probably relieves Ria, judging from her comment).

I'm still taking comments, ideas, and suggestions until next week rolls around!

Oscar Buddy, I Miss You Every Day

A year ago today, Felix and I said good-bye to our dear friend Oscar.

I still think of him every time I take a shower.  In fact, that's usually when I miss him most.

The Calm

This week has been eerily calm.  Last week I had an interview on Thursday, and then I kind-of phone interview on Friday.  Friday was a phone screening kind of thing, and the HR woman said they'll be determining within the next two weeks who they'll be bringing in for the in-person interviews.

This past weekend, the people in the building who I've had issues with moved out, so Felix and I are very happy.  The issues were that they constantly let their cats out, and one of them was always coming to the door and aggravating Fe through the apartment door.  Plus, a couple of weeks ago, one of them growled and hissed at me when I tried to enter the building.  Fun times.

I talked to the landlord earlier this week when he was here, and he said my new neighbours will be moving in this weekend.  Now I'm just hoping they aren't worse.  The whole "better the devil you know" thing and all.

So, after the flurry of getting ready to move, then having a little bit of luck with scheduling some interviews, this week is very quiet.  I'm definitely not UNpacking anything since I still only have 14 weeks left to find a job, this time for reals, y'all.  It's just not the big, rushed, hurried, stressed-out ball of mess.

It's interesting, but a little weird.

List #13: Things Felix Does That Crack Me Up

1.  There's a access space in my bedroom that goes to the plumbing of my neighbour's bathroom.  I don't know what Felix thinks is behind there, but he likes to paw at it.  From where I sit on my couch, I often catch him standing on his hind legs on my bed and pawing at it with his front paws.

2.  It never fails to crack me up when he meows and yawns at the same time.  And he does this a LOT.

3.  While Oscar actually jumped in the shower with me, Fe's favourite hang out is on the side of the bathtub between the shower curtain and the curtain liner.  But about once every few weeks, he forgets that he isn't the Ocs.  So he'll peak around the liner while I'm in the shower.  I'll tell him, "You're going to get wet!  This is water; you're not going to like it!"  But he'll ease his head incrementally further into the shower until he gets wet.  Then he'll give me a look a disgust before he shakes the water off and dashes away.

 4.  Felix likes to chase his tail.  He often does this on the couch.  Sometimes until he gets so lost in the game that he loses track of where he is and falls off the edge of the couch.  This never fails to make me laugh.  Mostly because it happens about once or twice a week.

5.  If you've ever been around a cat, you know how they knead their bedding with their paws until it's JUST right before they settle down for their nap.  Fe will over to me, paw at my belly (or my breasts) for several minutes, and then walk away.  He's done this since he was a kitten.  I'm so used to it now that when he starts, I just sit and wait for the sequence to end.  He even does it with my sheets sometimes.  Paw at the sheets/blankets, turn around, get things JUST right, turn around a few times... and walk away.  He is so bizarre.

6.  He likes to lay in weird positions.  If you've been to my place, you know that my couch is in front of my radiator in the living room.  In the summer, I push it back so they meet because it's not as if the radiator needs space.  But in the winter, I push the couch out so the warm air from the radiator can circulate.  Fe likes to put his hind legs on the radiator and rest his front legs on the couch.  His belly is suspended over the air between the two so that his body forms a bridge.  Today, I caught him doing a similar thing with the couch and the side window in the living room (not the one with the window perch).  Silly boy.

Wednesday Weigh-In

This week I lost 0.8 pounds, bringing my total since I decided to start tracking to 4.2 pounds lost.  It's not bad since I stopped working out about a month ago when I got the MR arthrogram (aka: the big-ass needle in my hip with the crap injected into my joint) and then started physiotherapy soon thereafter.  Although some would say that physio is like working out, so there you go.

Most of mine has been through eating better, except this past week, which has been stress eating, which is to say "Not eating much at all, except weird food combos."  (Don't ask.)

I was going to lighten things up today and show off something I knitted recently, but since tomorrow is recipe day and Friday is list day, I'll give one more update today, show off my knitting Saturday, and give an update on Sunday.  (That's the plan, anyway, barring some unforeseen event between now and then.)

Today, as planned, I worked on my bedroom.  I focused on the storage boxes under my bed.  I condensed four storages boxes down to two, which may not be as impressive as it sounds since the two that are empty are the smaller ones (about 2/3rds the size of the larger ones).  I filled a bag for recycling, I filled a bag for shredding, and I have a smallish-sized box of things that can be donated or are ready for a potential yard sale.

The bookshelf in my bedroom has three shelves of books that are ALL books I've been trying to get rid of.  So if I have this yard sale, they will all be on the lawn.  So that's done.  Next up is the closest and weeding through clothes.  I don't know if I have energy for that today, since today was kind of emotional.  The stuff under the bed was mostly pictures and newspapers and magazines of EVENTS.

At point I just burst out laughing (Ria and Diana will probably be the only ones who get this).  I'm picking out newspapers and magazines one by one to see if there are any I can part with.  John Ritter's death.  Christopher Reeve's death.  George Brett's retirement.  Wayne Gretzky's retirement.  Obama's win.  Johnny Cash's death.  John-John Kennedy's death.  Papers from September 12 and 13th.  Clint Bowyer and Greg Biffle win at Kansas Speedway - wait, WHAT?  Yeah, recycle.

I also discovered a lot of pictures.  You remember back when we took our film to CVS or Eckerd and got it developed?  Yeah, pictures.  Felix when he was a little kitten, looking terrified of everything.  Oscar drinking out of a cup on the coffee table.  New Dog sleeping with his hedgehog on my bed in Missouri.  Mom's wedding and reception.  A friend's wedding I went to in Boston.  The boy I nannied for in Missouri, who passed away from Huntington's Disease when he was 10 years old.

I'm glad I had duplicates, because I set aside some pictures to mail to some folks.  I think they will be pleased to get them.  As much as I like digital cameras (and, yes, I know I can print off the pics), it was fun to flip through all these and laugh and cry.

My Easter Sunday

Since I don't have any family in the area, I just chilled here with Felix.  I had given him his Easter present earlier this week - a red fluffy poof ball that he's batted across the floor a grand total of four times.  That make each swipe forty-one cents worth of swipe.  Granted, while I can afford to pay $1.65 for a cat toy, I'm determined to get the per-swipe cost of the toy down a bit.

I most ChaCha-ed during the day since they were (apparently) desperately in need of guides judging from the volume of emails and texts they sent out calling for help.  They finally even sent out not one, but TWO contests for extra money for people willing to give up their holiday time to log in and take questions.  The grand total of money they put up was pretty amazing, actually.

I made a new recipe, which turned out to be not only easy, but very cheap, and amazingly delicious.  Don't worry, I'll be sure to post it on Thursday.

And I'm VERY ashamed and embarrassed to admit that since I could find nothing good on tv to watch and didn't want to pop in a favourite movie (lest I get sucked into it and forget to, you know, actually answer questions), I got stuck watching the Lifetime Movie Network.  "Too Young to Be a Dad," "Bastard Out of Carolina," and "Book of Ruth."  I loathe you, LMN.

The Week: Looking Back, Looking Forward

This past week was pretty exciting.  Remember that development I mentioned a week back?  Well, it's still developing.  And developing quite well.  That's pretty much all I want to say about it for now.

I had an interesting visit with my PM&R doctor about my ongoing hip/groin pain.  He now wants me to get a new MRI with contrast done.  But while they're injecting the contrast, he also wants them to inject some lidocaine into the joint.  If that relieves the pain, it'll give him some information about what might be going on, and if it doesn't, that will also give him some information.  Scheduling that MRI was a major headache, and it still hasn't been accomplished.  I'll save that story for if/when that saga gets wrapped up.

My awesome friend Ria and her lovely husband Curt were here on Friday to visit Felix.  While here, they were kind enough to pretend to hang out with me, as well.  We also went to a local place called Rx (it used to be a corner pharmacy) for brunch.  I had never been there before, and I'd heard mixed reviews about it, but I really enjoyed what I had and since Ria and Curt all but licked their plates, I think they enjoyed it, too (or else they were just REALLY hungry).  I had cornflake-crusted French toast with a mixed berry compote.  I was impressed that they managed to coat the toast without making it heavy and doughy.  It was so thin and crispy!  I tried not to use the syrup since they didn't have sugar-free syrup, but toward the end, I found it necessary to cut the tartness of the berries.

Next week, I have doctors appointments scheduled on every day except Monday.  I'll be seeing my friend Anju on Tuesday evening.  Med Student is supposed to come over on Saturday (except I've been having trouble getting ahold of her to confirm this and ask her about what we're making so I can shop for ingredients on Tuesday when I have a car).  And my friend Deirdre (not to be confused with my friend Dierdre) is coming over on Sunday (we're also cooking instead of going out).

Felix

My cat has been cracking me up lately.

He has a collection of mice that he likes to play with - small furry mice, little leather mice, catnip mice, rattler mice, knitted mice, etc.  For some reason, he has decided lately that the best way to play with his mice is to choose one, toss it onto the bed (usually when I'm sound asleep), chase it around on the bed until it falls off the bed, dive under the bed, chase it under the bed, wrestle it into submission, crawl back onto bed (but ONLY between the bars on the headboard and the wall, which means scooting the under-bed storage boxes around), fling the mouse onto the bed to show his dominance, lather, rinse, repeat.

Sometimes, when I'm reading in bed (which is what I do every night - sometimes until I literally fall asleep holding the book; it's many a night I wake up when the book slips from my hand and bops me in the face), he'll come to bed and toss a mouse on me.  I'll toss the mouse down the hall.  The other night, I had slightly bad aim, and the mouse landed in a box.  I was curious to see what he would do, so I didn't get up to get the mouse out of the box.  He attempted to paw the mouse out, but in his...  zealous attempts to get mouse out of the box, he ended up scooting the box about a six-inches across the room (and, no, this was not an empty box!).  He finally got mouse out of the box, where mouse was promptly punished for trying to hide from him.  Bad Mouse!  That'll teach him!

I have a speshul cat

During the months when the radiators aren't on, I usually cover the one in the living room with a towel so Felix can sit on it and still look out the window.  In the fall/winter months, though, I remove the towel so the heat can come out of radiator.  However, Felix has apparently decided that the lack of towel is no reason to not sit on the radiator anyway.  But instead of sitting on the radiator and looking out the window, he sits on the radiator and rests his head on the couch cushion to either nap, watch television, or keep an eye on me.

But this isn't why he's a speshul snowflake.  I was talking to the woman who owns a local pet shop just two blocks from my house about Felix's odd litter box habits, in the hopes that she would say to me, "Oh, yeah, the reason cats do that is because..." but, no.  Here's what happened instead:

I explained to her that Felix tends to use his litter box, and then hop out of it and randomly scratch at the litter mat or the lip of the litter box or the walls, in the apparent hope that this will cover what he's just done.  (Now, apparently, THIS part isn't so unusual.  But the NEXT part is.)

I then explained to her that before he uses his litter box, he will spend a great deal of time digging a hole.  This hole has to be the right size, the right shape, and in the right place.  And then he will sometimes abandon the hole and jump out of the box.  Then he will come back to the box and some point in time and dig an entirely new hole.  Again, right size, right shape, right place.  He then puts his FRONT paws in the hole, and does his business - not in the hole -  but wherever his hind end is while his front paws are in the hole!

I asked Courtney, the pet shop owner, if she had explanation for this, and her only answer (as she laughed), "I think you have a speshul cat."

State of the Min

The Summer of 2010 has been, well, interesting.

I want to thank everyone for being so supportive while I was mourning the loss of The Ocs. Every once in awhile, at the most unexpected times, I get hit with grief. Like when Med Student (who some of you know as Rachel) and I were eating at the local Vietnamese restaurant and she mentioned that she wished she had been able to have gone to free Goo Goo Dolls concert as part of Philadelphia's Welcome America (Fourth of July) celebration. I burst in tears, and she was like, "What happened? What's going on? What just happened?" When I finally stopped crying, I explained that I had also wanted to go, but that was Oscar's last night with us. And we just sat there, in the middle of the restaurant, holding hands for awhile.

Or the other day when I was talking to Ria and I mentioned my cats. And then I realised that I don't have cats, plural, anymore. And then I called my mom and cried.

I believe I emailed everyone who left a message for me on the blog who also left their email address, and I received a lot of messages on Ravelry that I believe I've also returned, as well. When I started modding the Free Pattern Testers group, I never realised that I'd meet such caring people with so many of their own stories to share, too!

I've also got another really frustrating situation going on right now which has my life in extreme limbo. Some of you know about it, especially local friends. But when I have definitive answers and know the implications of what's going on, I'll spill all.

In other news, I had my regular three-month check-in with my doctor last week. I'm still low in Vitamin D, so she switched me from 3,000 IUs a day to 50,000 IUs a week. And since I've been having very minor right upper-quadrant pain again (very similar to what I was having two years ago when the gall-bladder in-and-out of the hospital fiasco began), she did a bunch of blood tests and gave me an ultrasound order in case the pain gets worse, and I can decide whether I want to go in for the test. If the pain continues, I can make an appointment with my GI specialist, and I'll have the baseline pancreatic enzyme levels and U/S results for him to see.

She's also sending me to an orthopaedic specialist for my torn hip cartilage to get a second opinion since neither of us are particularly pleased with the progress I've been making with the PM&R guy I've been seeing. But first I need to see him one more time to get my MRI results back, my records, etc. And of course, he's on vacation for the next two weeks. Yay.

And the latest (which I made some vague references to on Twitter): Those of you who have ever tried to hang out with me in the summer know I'm terrified of hanging out outdoors. It's not that I'm not an outdoors person - it's that I'm allergic to pretty much every bug ever. If a bug looks at me, I'll get a huge-ass welt that will itch until forever. This past Saturday afternoon, I had what I thought was a bug bite kind of between my breast and my underarm. So I did the usual - took an Allegra (an oral antihistamine) and treated topically with Benadryl cream (also an antihistamine). But still I itched... and itched... and itched.

Until Saturday night around 11:00 p.m. when I called Mom pretty freaked out. My entire underarm area, going up to part of my triceps area was covered in what looked like tiny bug bites. Now, usually if I've just scratched a single bug bite a lot, I'll break out in hives, but my hives will be really large, and I know what they look like. And when I take an Allegra and slather on the Benadryl, it'll take the hives. But I'd been doing that all night, to no avail. So I was pretty freaked out. Mom and I went through all the usual suspects - no new foods, no new clothes, I had gone tromping through the woods, etc.

Sunday morning, when I woke up, the area hadn't spread, but it now looked like one huge rash (and when I say huge, I mean it - but I'll get to that in a minute). Instead of tiny bites, it looked as if my cat Felix had taken a fire engine red paint can and spilled it on me overnight. I blame Ria. She's the only person I know who has regular access to paint cans.

To make a long story short (or is it too late?), I spent the weekend not sleeping from the discomfort. I was very tempted to go to the ER - not because I thought my life was in danger, but I was simply that uncomfortable and unable to sleep. But my ER copay is $75 and a doctor visit only costs $10. And it being the weekend, I knew I'd have to sit for hours to see someone in the ER when they'd do the same thing the doctor would do. So I continued with the Allegra, Benadryl, and I threw in an ice pack every once in awhile (but since I only have one ice pack, that only worked every few hours).

I finally saw a doctor Monday afternoon. He measured the rash for my chart, and it was an impressive 6" x 8" (told you it was huge). He gave me a steroid taper, which I'm VERY familiar with, as someone with moderate-level asthma. He also told me to switch to hydrocortisone cream instead of Benadryl (or to alternate) since the Benadryl wasn't being effective for me. And to continue with the ice pack. I told him the biggest problem was just that I was "very uncomfortable," and he laughed a bit wryly and said, "I would imagine, from how red and how large that is, that would be the understatement of the year, my dear."

It's getting a little better every day, but that could just be because Fe got some paint eraser from Ria. I'm not sure. Mostly I'm happy that I can read and knit again. Not being able to use my right arm at all for those few days was a killer. While I'm ambidextrous and could use my left hand to eat and write, not being able to use my arm was interesting. (I had to keep it still because if I held it down, the affected upper arm area rubbed against the underarm area, which hurt. And if I held it out even a little, the skin pulled and stretched, which also hurt.)

So... that's my summer so far. Yay!

In the words of Daria, "Is it fall yet?"

In Memoriam: Oscar

19 February 1996 - 05 July 2010

Last Tuesday, Oscar and I went to the vet, got some steroids, and hoped that he'd start doing better. On Wednesday, we heard that his thyroid levels were too low, adjusted his meds accordingly, and hoped for the best. But he was already doing better, despite refusing the meds. Having been a social worker for "the aging" (aka: old people), I was aware that sometimes sick people (and animals) perk up for a bit right before they die. So even though Ocs started to ambulate better and even though he joined me for a shower, I was afraid to hope. But by Saturday night when he full-out JUMPED onto the love seat, my heart soared. I hugged him tight to my chest, told him I'd missed him, and welcomed him back. Little did I know.

When he woke up Sunday, he stumbled all the way down the hall, ending his trek by falling in the living room. Throughout the day, he got progressively worse. He had a bad fall in the litter box, in which he managed to flip himself over and ended up doing a face-plant in the litter. By the end of the day, he would only eat if I spoon-fed him baby food, and he would drink only if I brought a water bowl to him, and then he drank by putting the right half of his face in the bowl and drank sideways out of his mouth. He was non-responsive to pets or his name being called, and he was unable to walk or even stand by nighttime.

I called Dr. Kurpel first thing Monday morning, and described my boy's personality and symptoms. She said if I felt like it was time to say good-bye, bring him on in, and if she agreed, we could either do it today when I brought him in, or I could take him home to prepare myself and bring him back when I was ready. She then offered to transfer me back to the front desk to make the appointment, or said I could call back when I was ready. I decided I was ready to make the appointment then. I made the appointment for 3:40 p.m. Then I called Naomi and it was decided that she and Anju would accompany me to the vet's office. I asked Naomi to call the vet and get permission for me to bring Ocs in wrapped in his favourite blanket (a NASCAR blanket I won at Kansas Speedway two years ago). First, he couldn't stand or walk, so he wasn't going anywhere. Second, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving with an empty cat crate. They said it was fine.

Jill came over and got some pictures of Oscar. As Jill said, they probably won't capture the spirti of the Ocs, but at least I'll some more pics. We put him on his window perch, and hoped for the best. If any of them come out decent, I'll share them. Then Fe decided he needed to ham it up for the camera, so Jill got some pretty good pics of him, too. I tried to get some food into Ocs, but he refused food all day. Later, when Oscar and I left, I asked Felix if he wanted to tell Oscar good-bye, and I swear to God (and Naomi can verify this), Felix ran over to Oscar and they rubbed noses. No one will EVER be able to convince me that didn't mean something.

When we got to the vet's office, I made eye contact with Zoe (the ever-so-wonderful front desk woman), and I burst into tears. Zoe immediately grabbed a waiting room chair and said, "C'mon, let's get you into an exam room where you can sit down and be with him." Anju and Naomi came in with me, and I let Ocs lie on the exam table on his blanket. Dr. Kurpel saw him, and didn't even bother with all of the normal vitals. She saw him lying there, only his tail flicking back and forth occasionally, and I told her how the last 36 hours had been. She noted that when he comes in, he's usually pretty relaxed, but he was way beyond that. I replied that the only movement from him had been the tail. She said that, unlike with dogs, when cats flick their tails, it's a sign of UNhappiness - in Oscar's case, most likely pain or discomfort. Oh. Why did I feel instantly guilty?

A couple of times, while we were discussing some minor doubts that I had (He was like this last Monday, then he had five good days. What if we don't do this today and he's scheduled for another week of good days?), he tried to lift his head and just couldn't. At one point, he let out a strangled howl. She later told me that cats really only do that when it's their time to go. Their voice changes and gets deep, and it's a voice you only hear when they're about to go. And she said it was when she heard that that she knew it was his time.


She said that if I was still feeling like it was time to say good-bye to him, she completely supported that decision. I said I did feel that way, and I wanted to go ahead and do it today. She explained the procedure, and asked if I wanted to be with him for it. I told her that Oscar had been with me for everything, and I wasn't leaving him now. She asked me if I wanted some more time alone with him before she started, and I said it was okay - I'd been preparing since last week, really. Although she had explained the procedure before, she thoughtfully explained every step again as she did it. After a few minutes, she came back and gave Oscar the first shot to sedate him. She said she'd be back in a few minutes to check on him. At this point, I asked Naomi and Anju to say their good-byes to Oscar, as I wanted to be alone with him in his final moments.

Dr. Kurpel came back in after a few minutes, and started to insert the IV in Oscar's leg, but he wasn't sedated enough. So she gave him another shot, and we waited another few minutes. Finally, it was time. She gave him the IV drugs, and as soon as it was injected, she used her stethoscope to check his heart, nodded, looked at me, and whispered, "He's gone." She said I could stay in the room as long as I wanted to, she could bring my friends back if I wanted to, she gave me some materials on pet bereavement, and she told me I could call her anytime to talk if I needed to.

Then Dr. Kurpel and I had an impromptu little eulogy-esque type of thing for the Ocs. She said that cats sometimes put on a persona when they come in, but she could tell that Oscar was just Oscar - that he was really sweet and charismatic. And she always told him how handsome he was. I told her about the time that Oscar "buried" a dead bird under Mom's couch, and we only found it after we went looking for the thing that had made the house smell REALLY bad for three days. And how he planted his nose right in my ear at night so all I heard was his rather loud purr. And how he takes showers with me, and now showers will never be the same without him.

Before I left, I talked to Dr. Kurpel about Felix. See, Fe and Ocs were best buds. The very first night they were introduced, they were playing together. They actually woke me up that first night, and I thought they were fighting, but they were playing. And they've been pretty inseparable since; they groom each other, they play together, and they sleep together. So I'm worried about how Felix will react to not having his buddy around. She told me to watch his appetite and make sure he's eating. See if he starts hiding out. Monitor changes in behaviour. She said sometimes the surviving cat will take on the traits of the cat who passed. But, either way, just pay a little extra attention to him in the coming days, and call her if I have questions or concerns about the little guy.

We also talked a little bit about how confused I was about how Oscar went downhill so fast, then made this recovery for five days, then took a VERY sudden turn for the worse. She said that cats are especially good at masking pain and discomfort. But seeing at how quickly and aggressively this thing attacked Oscar, her best guess is that he had either a tumour or a cancer of some kind - that it went WAY beyond the thyroid issue, and anything I could have picked up on just from observing him at home. I just shook my head and sighed. Then she repeated her offer to call her anytime to talk to her if I needed to.

Once again, thank you for all of the support I've received throughout the last few weeks. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Thank you for making me laugh, for the hugs, and most of all... for just listening to me cry on the phone (you know who you are).

General Update

Got calls from two doctors yesterday: Oscar and Felix's doctor, and my hip doctor.

My hip doctor said that he had "the best doctor in this field in the country" read my MRI (the head of musculoskeletal medicine at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital), and it ends up that I have a labral tear in my hip. This means that I have a tear in a cartilage of the part of the hip that holds my hip in the socket. He said this accounts for all of my pain and the loss of range of motion. His plan of action is physical therapy. If that doesn't work, then steroid injections. If that doesn't work, "we'll discuss it further at that time."

Oscar and Felix's doctor called after that. She asked how things were going, and I said, "Well... they're interesting." She laughed, and said, "I don't know if I like that answer. (pause) Do I?" I told her that I'd put Feliway in the bedroom (since the directions had said to put it in the room where the troublemaker spends the most time). But on Day One, he had NEVER left the room. Except to eat and drink. Other than that, Ocs and I NEVER saw him. Which, on one hand, means we weren't being attacked, but on the other hand, it kind of isn't the point that we become two separate households.

Day Two saw Felix venturing out a bit more, but when he was in the living room with Ocs and me, he did try to nip me when I touched his leg. So, that was awesome. But, of course, being the highly-skilled (ha ha) epidemiologist that I am, I know that a two-day observation is not really conclusive of anything. So, we'll see. Dr. Kurpel assured me that she is still more than willing to put him on kitty Prozac, especially since Fe has always been highly anxious and skittish, even before this aggression started.

As for Oscar, he's on the high end of normal, so we're adjusting his meds again, and I'm continuing to monitor his symptoms at home. Watch his stools, his rate of puking, his energy level, his socialisation, etc.

My next week will be spent packing (I leave on Thursday, but my Mom and Dale are leaving on Sunday since they are driving to North Carolina - they had planned on stopping by Nashville, but are now coming up with Plan B), cleaning house (I LOVE coming home to a clean house), and generally making sure everything is in order for being away for two weeks (bills are paid, etc.).

Cat Update

Ocs went for his follow-up appointment on Tuesday. Nothing new, just bloodwork to make sure things with his thyroid are moving in the right direction.

But I did have to talk to Dr. Kurpel about Felix. Ah, Felix. Felix continues to be an aggressive little bugger. On Sunday, while I was TRYING to wish my mom a happy happy Mother's Day, Fe decided to attack me. He was on the counter and I deigned to walked by him, and he decided it would be a great idea to "scratch" my eye. Now, I put that in quotation marks because he doesn't actually have his claws. Sometimes I feel bad about it, but on Sunday I was actually really happy about it because despite not having claws he still managed to hurt my eye. So I swatted him, he hissed, bared his teeth, used both paws to grab my arm and tried to bite me. So now I'm on the phone with Mom and I start crying - more out of shock and being startled/scared than anything else.

About ten minutes later, I'm still on the phone with her, and Ocs is sitting in the kitchen and Fe walks right by Ocs and just smacks the ever-loving crap out of poor Oscar! I was watching the whole thing - Oscar was literally just sitting there looking into the living room and Fe walked by, hissed, reared back, and walloped him.

Mom told me to put Fe in jail, so I did, and I decided that when I took Oscar in to see Dr. Kurpel, I would talk to her about Fe's aggressive behaviour not getting any better and, in fact, getting a bit worse. Mom thinks this is because I have befriended a cat who is up for adoption at Baltimore Pet Shoppe (local friends in need of a cat - adopt Speedy!).

I talked to Dr. Kurpel, and she recommended that I try Feliway, a cat pheromone diffuser since I'm going away next week for two weeks. Although Felix knows (quite well) the two people who will be cat-sitting, it will still be a change in the schedule, and if the Feliway is going to work, we want it to start working now. If it doesn't work, she wants to do a blood panel on him just to make sure that he doesn't have some underlying kidney, liver, etc., issue that's causing him physical discomfort that makes him act out aggressively. If it isn't physical, then we're going to put him on Prozac. This will mean checking his liver enzymes every once in awhile (blood work on both cats - yay!), but at least I won't have a cat who is attacking my other cat.

My main concern was that Fe happy and not attacking Ocs and that I not be scared to have friends touch Felix, and Dr. Kurpel's concern was that I be happy cat owner. By the time I got home, she had emailed some links with information on cat behaviour, and some information on cat behavioural specialists at Penn Vet (yeah, cause that sounds affordable), but said she would be happy to work with me if that didn't seem like something I wanted to do (whew).

I got the Feliway yesterday, along with a new cat toy for Felix (and I MAY have played with Speedy for awhile while I was at the Pet Shoppe anyway).

Wish us luck!

Breathing again

Sorry I've been so quiet lately.

Last week, JUST as I was getting my essay wrapped up I called the admissions people just to make sure I would be DONE. Nope. They also needed a writing sample. WHAT? Yeah, a writing sample. Anything that was 5-30 pages would do. It could be anything that had been submitted while I did my Master's work. Okaaaaay. Deep breath.

I decided to just turn in my thesis. Then I decided on a paper I'd turned in for Dennis because I remembered that I had a paper he said he was going to keep as a sample of how to do that assignment. Then I dug it out and realised that the reason he said that was because I'd done the final exam as an outline and he thought it was creative and original and I'd thought outside the box. And if one didn't have the final exam question, the outline really made NO sense. Then I found another paper in the file I'd kept because he'd really liked it. So I decided to use that. Except it was too short. So I decided to turn it into a longer paper.

Then I went out with my friend Rachel to celebrate her birthday. And I caught her up on the Application Debacle. At this point, it's Thursday evening, and the application is due Monday morning. She felt that I should NOT turn in the Dennis paper and that I should turn in my thesis. She was pretty convincing. So I went home, called Mom, discussed it with her (for the THIRD time), woke up on Friday, and sent in my thesis.

DONE.

In the meantime, I've had two doctor appointments and both of my cats have had doctor appointments. They no longer think that I have early onset osteoarthritis of my pelvic joint; the new theory is that I somehow managed to tear my hip labrum (the cartilage on the socket part of the ball-and-socket of the hip joint).

My new PCP (who isn't really all that new since she filled in when my former PCP was sick or on maternity leave or otherwise unavailable) saw me for the first time and we had a great visit. I caught her up on my endo and GI appointments from last month, and the 6-day migraine I had a few weeks ago. She's referred me to someone for that since my former neurologist retired and I haven't found someone since who I like as much as that guy. The nurse practitioner I saw last time wanted me to schedule a physical, but the PCP said she doesn't think it's necessary since her plan is to see me every 3-4 months anyway, and she'll continue to coordinate my specialists, just as Mira did. And my next visit, we get to talk about My First Mammogram. Even though I'm young, since I also don't know my family medical history, she wants me to think about it.

As for the boys... Felix is healthy and Dr. Kurpel was impressed with how healthy his teeth are. We talked a lot about his increasingly aggressive behaviour (both toward me and Ocs), and she was really helpful and understanding, and she gave me a lot of tips on how to deal with him. As for Ocs, his thyroid levels are looking great and we've adjusted his meds slightly. But his new labs showed that he's slightly anemic, which his last month's labs didn't show, so we now need to keep an eye on that, too.

I also talked to Dr. Kurpel about how difficult it is to pill Ocs and how he hates Greenies Pill Pockets, and it doesn't help that I have NO idea what table foods he likes since I don't give them table food. I did figure out that he likes Velveeta, but that wore off in two weeks. Now I'm getting away with dipping the Velveeta in his canned food gravy first, but I can tell the novelty of that is wearing thin, too. So I asked her (pre-emptively) what to try next (cause I bought some hot dogs and he was NOT interested in those). She suggested trying beef or chicken baby food and grinding the pills in that, so we'll be trying that next. Pilling twice a day is getting to be not so much with the fun. Wish us luck!