Euna Lee and Laura Ling Pardoned

I am cautiously optimistic that Lee and Ling have been pardoned from their sentences in North Korea.

I am ecstatic for them that they have been allowed to return to their homes and their countries. I can only imagine and wonder at the immense relief that they and their friends and families must feel.

However, the cynical part of me wonders what this will cost us. What does Kim Jong-Il have up his sleeve?

On the other hand, my theory that Kim Jong-Il has really been dead for awhile and that Kim Jong-Un has really been running the show has pretty much been shot to hell since I don't believe that President Clinton would negotiate for the release of prisoners with a dead man.

Lubna Ahmed al-Hussein

This post has the potential to be controversial. It covers cultural anthropology, world affairs, and human rights.

In case you don't want to read it, aren't in the mood, etc., here's a pretty picture to serve as a buffer:

For those of you who haven't yet heard about this, you can read about it here. The basic gist is that Ms. al-Hussein went to Sudan, where it is illegal for women to wear "indecent clothing." She was caught in public wearing trousers, which has traditionally been defined as "indecent" for a woman. She now faces a punishment of public flogging (40 lashes). She could have avoided it by claiming diplomatic immunity, but she instead chose to resign her position with the U.N., presumably to shed light on these issues.

I've been turning this issue over and over in my mind for a few days now, and no matter which way I come at it, I remain truly ambivalent about it. It's a complex issue, and I'm going to try to explain my thoughts about it in an articulate manner. So, stick with me here. Or at least try to!

In the U.S., women can wear trousers. It isn't considered indecent. However, in Sudan it is. In the U.S. what we can and can not wear isn't codified. However, in Sudan it (apparently) is. While these differences surprise me, I don't find them appalling. I find them to be cultural differences. And I'm OKAY with that. I don't find anything there to be all up in arms about.

I find it extremely difficult for one country (ANY country) to dictate to another what is RIGHT. "We do things THIS way, so it MUST be the RIGHT way. Therefore, YOU must do it this way, too."

My friend Kristi and I had discussions along this line when she was working on her KAA dissertation some years back. I was bemoaning the fact that there were so many Chinese baby girls being adopted and aborted because of the population cap and how that should be changed. And she said that she was uncomfortable with us (meaning Western culture) dictating to another country how they should run their country. They HAVE over-crowding. Who are WE to tell them how to solve the problem? If their culture dictates that men are valued more, then that's THEIR culture. I learned that afternoon that there exists a delicate balance between human rights and cultural rights.

And that's where I find myself again.

Sudan has laws about what women can wear. She broke the laws. Some people may find the laws "archaic" or "old-fashioned," but that IS their law. When people visit our country, we expect them to abide by our laws; they have a right to expect the same by visitors to their country.

Now, the next issue: some people find the punishment "too much" or "humiliating." Talk to me about that one again when the U.S. gets rid of chain gangs and the death penalty.

"See Her Smile"

There was a request for more cat pictures. So for you, Anju:




You can tell I'm really in a sad state when you can find this in my player on repeat.

See Her Smile
Words and Lyrics by Jonathan Larson

It's not you, she says
It's just that life's so hard
We all get blue, I say
Hang on tight
I'll be your bodyguard

Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Oh, oh, I just wanna see her smile

It's such a drag, she says
When the world's so mean
It's just a red flag, I say
Gotta look for the green

Oh, oh, oh
Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Oh, oh, I just wanna see her smile

Cynical town can be tough on an angel
Clip her wings baby, one, two, three
I'm her clown cause a laughin'
Angels richer than kings
Oh, baby, don't you see?
Baby, don't you agree?

Wish I knew why, she says
But on a sunny day, I find the rain
Let's give it a try, I say
We can dance all through the pain

Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Something's breakin' my baby's heart
Something's breakin' my baby's heart

Oh, oh
Oh,oh
Oh,oh
Ooooh, oh, oh
I just wanna see her smile
I just wanna see her smile
I just wanna see her smile
I just wanna see her
Just wanna see her...smile

-----------------------------------------

To hear it, go here.

More sick stuff

For those of you who are tired of hearing about me droning on about being sick, skip this post. And as a buffer, here's a pic to protect you from the sick wank.


Okay, now, for the rest of you.

Here's an idea of how I'm doing these days.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping by myself. On the way home, I passed a road sign. A road sign that has been there for years. It hasn't changed. Nothing different about it. Yet it made me cry. What was it? Just a sign that read:

Walt Whitman Bridge
No Toll in This Direction

I have no idea why it was so tear-inducing. It was JUST SAD!!!!! As I said to my therapist today, "It's like, you can just get on the bridge and go and no one cares and there's NO TOLL!"

Go figure.

But here's the overall trip in the nutshell: Go to Target. Find out there are no frozen foods. Go slightly postal on manager. Go to grocery. Find adorable toddler to smile at and wave to. Chat with toddler's mom. Get teary-eyed about how cute the toddler is. Forget cheese. Park cart to get cheese. Lose cart. Pass random cart and note that shopper bought same taco sauce I did. Panic that I lost my cart. Pass same random cart and note that shopper also bought same same taco shells I did! Wonder how the fuck loses a cart in less than three minutes. Pass same random cart and note that shopper also bought the same BREAD I did... oh. My cart. Cry in dairy aisle. Check out behind toddler and mom. Smile at how cute toddler is. Pull self together. See bridge sign. Cry on way home.

At work, I am grateful for my theatre minor because I feel like I pull off the Greatest Acting Job ever. I have started to isolate from friends more because I feel like they can't possibly be able to stand one more story about how depressed I am or how tired I am or how sick I am or how sick and tired I am of being sick and tired.

Once I get home, I'm so exhausted from acting at work all day, I just Come Undone. Completely.

Although, I did have a victory this weekend. Despite my best efforts, I was unable to sell my spots in my Wendy Johnson sock classes this past weekend. So I went. It was hard. And exhausting. And frustrating. And annoying. I can't say that I'm completely happy that I went, but I don't completely regret it, either. This, my friends, is a victory.

I would like to say one more thing, especially to my local friends. I know there are many of you experiencing Life right now. Losing jobs, losing relationships, moving, etc. And I wish I could be there for you. And I'm trying. And I'll be there as much as I can. But I refuse to promise more than I KNOW I can deliver. I will, however, promise to do what I can.

And, as always, I do love you.

Sick and tired, literally

Apparently, my Vitamin D levels are so drastically extremely severely low that my PCP and my endocrinologist felt the necessity to call me and let me know how dire things were. My Vitamin D is 13. Bare minimum people should be at is 32.

My doctor said that at this level she generally puts people on prescription D, but since it's mid-July she's going to try something else. She wants me to try 3000 IUs (international units) of Vit D per day (for comparison, the RDA is 400 IUs) and a minimum of ten minutes of "midday summertime sun" per day.

I spoke to the pharmacist today and he recommended getting 1000 IUs and taking them three times a day, with fatty foods. WITH FATTY FOODS! A silver lining! For those of you playing the at-home game, this now puts me at popping twelve pills a day. And that doesn't count the "as needed" meds for my allergies, asthma exacerbations, nocturnal leg cramps, etc.

The issue is that not only is vitamin deficiency generally not good, but the intersection of vitamin D deficiency and thyroid problem is particularly bad. So that's why all the arm flailing and phone calls between doctors in the past few days. Also, the severe deficiency tends to explain the ongoing achiness, fatigue, and depression despite the thyroid levels getting better. This makes me happy because it means that (1) there's a reason and (2) my most excellent doctor went looking for a reason for my continuing complaints of general malaise.

Now, for the good news:

My glucose is just barely elevated, but this should come down as I lose weight, which is expected to happen as my thyroid levels are controlled. My A1C is 5.9, which is the cutoff for the acceptable range. This gets me out of the pre-diabetes range (YES! this is a major victory, as this is why I went into Weight Watchers), and this is expected to keep going down as my thyroid is controlled. Seriously, folks, MAJOR VICTORY here.

My overall cholesterol is good, although my triglycerides were jacked, but we think that was due to the non-fasting test so no one is panicking. The HDLs were a bit low, but this should also change as the thyroid is controlled, I'm less fatigued, and can exercise more.

Also, Dr. Second Opinion called me Saturday morning. He confirmed that the ultrasound showed absolutely no pathology whatsoever. He sounded as frustrated and annoyed about this result as I am, which pleases me (which may be warped). He said that, unfortunately, we may have to wait for the next episode. If it happens when he's in his office, I'm to call him and come to his office immediately so he can examine me and figure it out post-haste. If it's after-hours or on the weekend, I'm to go to the ER (I've already decided I'm going to his ER). Although this might not sound like good news, I like that (1) he called me on the Saturday of what was supposed to begin his two-week vacation and that (2) he seems just as determined as I am to find an answer.

This is why God invented flash mobs

See it here.

Wollmeise

Wollmeise is in the house.

That is all.