The Death of a Relationship

I had been feeling kind of bad that Orin and I hadn't had any contact since I found out he had lung and brain cancer.  So I told my mom, "What if he's sitting there thinking, 'Here I am going through all of this and all my daughter does is send me a damned card?'"

So she said, "Well, if you really feel that way, go ahead and call him.  And if he starts acting like a jerk, tell him that this is why things are the way they are between you and hang up."

Today, I did just that.  When we started talking, I asked if he had received the card.  "Yes, and I didn't call you.  That was my choice."  Oh.  While he continued to talk and tell me about his treatment, I mulled over in my head "Is there any way I can take that other than 'I didn't want to talk to you'?" and I keep coming up with "Nope - that's pretty much what he meant."

I won't go through every detail, but by the end, he was accusing my mom of being a liar, he was yelling that he is NOT a racist and he stood behind the emails he sent me (that led to me changing my email address), and then he hung on up me.

So I called him back and I said, "I just want you to understand that THIS is why our relationship is not a good one.  I want to wish you well with everything you're going through.  I love you, but this is the last time I'll be talking to you.  Good-bye."

And that is that.