25 June 2010

One year ago today...

I've been sitting here for about an hour trying to write this post. I wasn't sure whether to write that the world lost a legend a year ago, that I lost a personal hero, or that we all lost a musical/dance genius. Because it's all true.

He's outsold any other musical artist. He has inspired an entire generation of other artists in both musical stylings and choreography. He was the first black artist to have a music video played on MTV (remember when MTV actually played videos?). He co-wrote "We Are the World" with Lionel Richie, a song for charity, which was the fast-selling U.S. single in history. He's overcome personal demons, many of which have been documented (and vehemently denied by Joseph Jackson) and some of which I believe we'll never know about. He alluded to some of them in his single "Childhood." He unsuccessfully tried to overcome a painkiller addiction (acquired when his hair caught on fire while filming a Pepsi commercial), but the point is that he had the courage to acknowledge the problem and face it - not that he failed. And he was a great philanthropist; he gave over $300 million and founded the Heal the World foundation.

I still have things on my TiVo that I recorded a year ago when the tributes started. Some of them (like the video tributes) I've watched over and over again. But most of them I haven't watched at all because it's just too painful. I still can't believe he's gone, even a full year later.

Random events make me cry. During a scene in "We Are Marshall," the Jackson 5 song "The Love You Save" is played, and I burst into tears. Walking through the city the other day, I heard someone blasting "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough," and I found tears streaming down my cheeks. I never knew losing someone I've never met could be so painful.

I understand that some of you reading this don't share my love or passion for MJ, but please be kind to those of us who are still in grieving and are in pain (in general, but especially this weekend). One of the women on my MJ board shared this story this week: She and her fiancé (who are getting married in a few weeks) were meeting with their DJ. Her fiancé mentioned to the DJ how much she loves Michael, and the DJ asked her, "So, have you gotten used to him being dead yet?"

Earlier this week, I ordered a floral arrangement of sunflowers (his favourite flower) to be placed at his internment site today. For the past few weeks, I've been working on two MJ cross-stitch patterns. I was hoping to have them both done by today, but I only succeeded in getting one of them done; I think the other one will be done this weekend, though.

PS. Dear Joseph Jackson: Screw you for filing a wrongful death claim. All MJ fans should file one against YOU.

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