24 December 2011

Medical Update, Part Floppity Jillion

I thought it was time to stop referring to the "mysterious medical issue," and let y'all in on the secret.  I have a little more information now, although not all of it.  But first (as the ChenBot would say)...

The update on the hip.  It turns out that I DO have a torn hip labrum, but they found out during the latest test they did that I also have a bilateral (both sides of my body) hip deformity.  My doctor is consulting with someone he believes is one of the best in the country as far as joint replacements, joint revisions, etc., for next steps.  My doctor has discussed the possibility of a hip replacement, an osteotomy (they cut the bone and reshape it - doesn't that sound fun?), and more physiotherapy in the meantime that would be different from what I've been doing thus far.  This PT would be less strengthening and more "hands-on and teaching me how to move the bones and muscles."  He also discussed another MRI looking specifically at this area (now that we know which area to focus on) and or a CT scan looking at my left foot/ankle/leg since all of that could potentially have been affected over the years since it's all weight-bearing stemming from the hip.

So, those are all the various possibilities, but until he's able to consult with this guy and possibly get me in to see Mr Awesome Doctor myself, I won't really know anything else.

As for the "mystery issue."  This spring, I started having a lot of symptoms that made me think my thyroid was acting up again.  I called my doctor, we ran the tests, and everything was good.  We checked my Vitamin D levels (since I do take prescription Vitamin D, anyway, for a deficiency), and everything was good there.  Over the summer, things got worse.  But everything my doctor tried diagnostically turned up absolutely nothing.  In fact, my thyroid was doing so well that if she suppressed things any more than they already do, I would become hyPERthyroid (instead of hyPOthyroid), which nobody really wants.

She really had two theories, and all of her tests were trying to prove one of the theories wrong because it was something I really didn't want.  This week, I went for the results of the last test that she knew to send me to, and it wasn't good.  That specialist couldn't find anything wrong with me, either.

So - what's wrong?  Well, I've been having irregular periods (as in absent for MONTHS on end), hot flashes, night sweats, fatigue, dry eyes...   in short, all of the symptoms of menopause.  To review, I turn 36 next month, I have no kids, and - yes - I want(ed) kids.

My doctor HAS said that it is an EXTREMELY rare side effect of my birth control pills that they can mimic menopause.  So there is still that hope.  I could just change pills and everything could be fine.  But she doesn't want to do this herself because if I suddenly stop, it could affect my thyroid issues, so she wants me to do this only under the supervision of my endocrinologist, who would be the one to run the definitive hormonal blood tests for menopause anyway.  I see the endo the first week in February.

I have been sad since this possibility was mentioned earlier this year, but when I got the latest news on Monday, I have been...  well, a lot of crying has been done.

I am well aware of adoption, but at this point, I am single, and in quite a lot of debt from law school and a Master's programme.  Adoption isn't cheap, and my health insurance doesn't cover in vitro (yes, I already checked).  So.  That's where things are.

I am very happy to be going home to my mommy today.


  1. {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    I went in for surgery in the fall of 1998 when I was 36. I woke up with a surprise total hysterectomy. It was necessary, they found precancerous cells and some necrotic cysts, but dealing with no longer having the option to give birth is rough. It wasn't totally about having a child to raise, but a very deep-seated, almost visceral shift in how I viewed myself. Now, 13 years later my perspective has changed enough that I am glad to not have children, mostly because of my health situation and age, but it took a long time, and it was a distinct grieving process to reach this point.
    Be gentle with yourself. My own mom said some things meant in kindness that hurt quite a bit ('well, with your allergies it is probably just as well you won't have kids' for example). The process of dealing with the possibility of not being able to give birth is intensely personal, and you are justified in whatever emotional reaction you are experiencing.
    All my love,