07 October 2009

Race Weekend Vacation: The Non-NASCAR Edition

I don't want to bore you non-NASCAR fans with the race details of the vacation, so I tried to confine the NASCAR stuff to the NASCAR board on Rav. Here, I will try to present some anecdotes from the trip, some of which DID happen at the track.

On Friday, Mom had a very minor car accident. She managed to back into a guy at the McDonald's drive-thru. Now just think about that sentence for a minute. LOL. We went to get breakfast on the way to the track, but she didn't realise that she had passed the speaker because the speaker was before you got to menu (this makes sense to me, but not to Mom, apparently). So she put it in reverse and backed up LITERALLY no more than two feet. And we're not talking backing up going 40 MPH, folks. We're talking going slower than parking lot speed. Sure enough, BUMP! She hit the guy behind us. Meanwhile, the woman wants our order. So she placed our order and then went to talk to the guy. There was, as you can imagine, absolutely no damage to either vehicle, and we think the guy knew we was a tad too close anyway.

We had ordered two egg and cheese biscuits and a sausage biscuit. This gets put in as a sausage biscuit and two sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits with no sausage. Okay, fine, whatever. We go to the first window to pay but they suddenly have no record of the cheese. So they make Mom pay an extra 80 cents (40 cents per sandwich) for the cheese. We go to second window and get the food - no cheese on the egg biscuits. She tells us she'll put cheese on, but it'll be 80 cents plus tax. Mom's all "Lady, how much does cheese cost??? We already paid the first lady for the cheese!"

On Saturday and Sunday, we decided to go to Burger King for breakfast instead. I told Mom I liked their breakfast sandwiches better anyway. She told me she never thought I'd admit out loud that Tony was right about anything. (Okay, sorry, non-NASCAR people; there's a NASCAR reference that makes no sense to you.)

During the Saturday race, the drunken woman behind us spilled her beer. Of course, she didn't have the courtesy to tell us that she had spilled her beer all over the blanket we were sitting on (not because our butts need to be pampered that much, but because those metal benches were COLD that day) and that it was now on our bags under our seats. When I discovered it, I told Mom. Mom felt the blanket, figured out it was wet, and rolled it up so she could still use her half, leaving me to sit on the metal bench. Then I stood up to feel my butt to see if it was wet. Drunken woman behind us tapped me on the shoulder. "Your bottom isn't wet. It just feels cold." WTF??? How would you know? And would you care to explain why our blanket smells of beer? So for the rest of the weekend, that was a running joke. In the airport, I noticed I had something on my jacket. I asked Mom what she thought it was. She looked at it and went, "Don't worry about it; it just feels cold."

On Monday, Mom and I went thrift store shopping so I could get some new work clothes. A lot of the stores offer senior discounts, for which my mom is eligible. I got three pair of work pants and about 20 sweaters/blouses for $57, including one Christopher & Banks sweater! Part of the haul is a black and red fleece pullover, which my mom is going to embroider and make into a Scott Speed fleece for me. She and I designed it together Monday night, but we ran out of time to get 'er done.

As we were getting ready to leave one thrift store, Mom spotted a sweater that she just KNEW was a Christopher & Banks sweater behind the counter. She asked the cashier if she could she it. It was brand new and still had the original tags (marked $55) on it. She saw that it was marked $24.95 and balked. She and I both hate paying that much at a thrift store. We really don't care if it's something that's brand new and expensive; you're still buying it at a THRIFT STORE!!! The guy said, "If you buy it, you're not bringing it back on me, are you?" Mom promised him she wouldn't, and she just had a feeling that she was going to get a deal on the sweater. He rang it up at $6.95. Score!

When we got to Mom's bowling league on Monday afternoon, she went to take her bowling bag out of the back of the Windstar. Now, it's a heavy bag because she has two bowling balls in there. Somehow, as it was halfway out, it tipped but she couldn't get her thumb out of it. So she sliced her thumb open. I told her right then she needed stitches. Did she listen to me? No. I told her later when she got done bowling and it was still bleeding profusely that she needed stitches. Did she listen to me then? Nope. When she woke up Tuesday morning and it was still SPURTING blood, she decided that after she dropped me off at the airport, she'd go to the doctor's office. She now has five stitches because she nicked an artery, AND she was told she should have come in right away. Sometimes the daughter DOES know best. But she's all excited because when the doctor told her to come in any time on the 16th or after to get the stitches taken out, she said, "You know, I have a seam ripper at home," and he said, "If you can stomach it, go ahead and do it."

I found out over Monday's supper at Dixon's "Famous" Chili that my grandma doesn't know how to put gas in her car. I told her that her Christmas present from me would be that I would teach her. She informed me that she does not want that present for Christmas or any other occasion because John (her partner) does that for her. I asked her what her plan was if something happens to John. Mom laughed and said, "You're looking at her." I guess if something happens to both Mom and John at the same time, I'll have to fly to KCMO every few weeks to put gas in Grandma's car.

A note on Dixon's "Famous" Chili, the oldest family-owned restaurant in KCMO. It used to just be "Dixon's Chili" until President Truman went there while he was still in office and the press all went with him. It was one of Harry's favourite restaurants and continued to be so while and after he was in office. If you're ever in town, stop by. Not everyone likes their chili, but it's good. The default is all meat and no liquid in it, but you can add beans and you can get it "soupy." The condiments they have on the table are chili powder, vinegar, and a bottle of vinegar with chili peppers. I always get the all-you-can-eat tacos because I LOVE their tacos. They just use their chili meat and load it up with cheese. YUM!


  1. Hope you get frequent flyer miles. Or maybe one of your harem will fly you??

  2. Actually I like Hardee's breakfast food better than either BK or McD's.